The first lady of Sydney theatre is moving back from the boardroom to the boards, and speaks about her relief at relinquishing control of the Sydney Theatre Company, and the fresh excitement of performing Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking.
You’ve spoken before about the difficulty of changing back into an acting role after not acting for a while. Did you have that problem this time? Not so much, for a couple of reasons. One reason is that I’m no longer doing the big job of running STC, and that’s made a significant difference, a difference I really could not have imagined. For 15 years, I’ve been in management positions, and have been acting and directing at the same time as holding those very responsible positions. I think (as I’ve noted on other occasions) that you do develop a different side of your brain, and different muscles and different skills that are required when you’re running an organization, skills that are very different to those required by an actor. But now, I’m free of the pressure of responding to any of those learned skills – skills that I have really developed quite impressively, as far as I was concerned. Now I don’t need them, I can abandon all of those and just simply be an actress in the room.
How else is The Year Of Magical Thinking different? That’s one reason – really feeling huge sense of relief having relinquished that position. The other one is this is a piece… it’s not like a play, so in a way it requires the same skills but others as well. For a start, it’s an enormous learning task. It’s a whole evening, an hour and a half, where it’s just me. So I’ve had to learn this very quite massive piece of work. And it requires a relationship between the actress and the audience. I haven’t yet had that, because I haven’t yet had an audience and I’m really looking forward to the last piece of the equation. But as I said it’s not like being in a play – it’s a different experience – and so I think for those two reasons. And because I had seven weeks’ break, which I haven’t had in 15 years.
You sound like you could just shrug off that management side of yourself, as if it’s been a separate entity to you. Do you think that’s possible? No I’m still me, I just don’t have all the responsibility, therefore I don’t have to apply my mind to those sorts of issues and challenges that I was consumed by. Apart from the daily issues that might arise, there was the major planning cycle of STC play programming. It’s offloading an enormous number of responsibilities and challenges, and so my brain, the space in there… there’s space to think, I’m not running.
You have to be a bit clairvoyant planning such long seasons. How do you ensure something stays relevant? By responding to artists really. I had a strong awareness of the threat of staying power of various wars. So indeed my programming was influenced by Iraq, our presence in Iraq. But in terms of trying to second-guess the future, the best way to do that I think is through artists. Apart from your general awareness of what’s happening in the world around you, conversations with artists reveal their significant imaginings, and they’re in touch with the world and their own place in it, so you respond to them. But then there’s the politics, and well, what can you do. You’re constantly working with new arts ministers, different politicians, new sponsors – you just learn how to do that. I’m not quite sure how to answer your question.
Was it a difficult thing to let go of the company? No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Have you not picked this up from what I’ve been saying? People were very sympathetic. There were kindly comments last year, predicting that this year I would find it difficult to let go and hand over. The reverse is the case: it was instant. I was very prepared for leaving, very ready, very prepared and looking forward to it. Of course, I did have the question in my own mind, ‘how would I respond to letting go of such an enormous file of challenging matters that had to be dealt with constantly?’. What would I do with the space in my head? What would I do with my ideas? However the space in my head has been absolutely been filled with The Year of Magical Thinking. I think Joan Didion is one of those women you’re happy to have in your mind. She’s a highly intelligent and articulate women whose personal stories are very vividly told. I’m happy to have the brain space filled with Joan Didion’s story.
How have you dealt with this play? What sort of preparation do you do to convey something of this length by yourself, when you have no other actors to work with? And how does a director steer you through that process? It’s not always hard slog, though much of it is. Because it’s structured in such a fascinating and accomplished way the challenges along the road have been many and varied. They’ve really absorbed me. The woman is telling, giving an account of her year of magical thinking, and I think she does it in a very generous way, in service to the people to whom she’s talking. But along the way, while she comes along for the evening prepared to share this story with her audience, she becomes tricked by certain memories, which trigger off little emotional cues and she gets trapped by those things. And they’re quite difficult to uncover and shape and define and relive. Also what I’ve found, which I’ve never encountered in my life before on stage, is that the actor gets tricked also into a sudden uncovering of the emotional well, and so an emotion erupts unexpectedly and I’ve never encountered that before in my life. Each time I do it, I find this emotional response happens in a different place. That’s entirely unexpected and entirely unusual. It must be exciting as well. The whole thing is exciting; it’s kind of tortuously difficult and exciting at the same time, if you can get your mind around that. I mean an actor will know what I’m talking about. It’s a very big challenge, but I’m ready for the challenge. I’m really excited about getting an audience, because that’s where the key to the evening lies, in my relationship with the audience. I talk to the audience directly. There are many examples, and many moments when I get drawn into quite a deep and internal reflection. But I always go back to them. (Time Out Sydney, 2/4/08)






